Sometimes I feel like I'm afraid of the world.

I have lived a very sheltered life. Even though I went to public school, somehow I still managed to stay fairly naive. I didn't learn curse words until I forced my parents to tell me about them in 7th grade. I went to one party in high school where there was alcohol (not with  my friends, but in Missouri with my cousin), but I spent most of that on the phone on outside the house away from people. I ran around with friends who didn't drink, do drugs, or even curse much. Other than drinking energy drinks, we were clean.

Then I chose to go to a Christian university. Yes, I know there are Taylor students who do those types of things, but as far as I'm aware, they don't hang out in the dungeon where I am 96% of the time. (Sometimes, I get to go sleep).

I'm pretty sure that I've never interacted with someone who was drunk or high. Ever.

I was in Colorado for spring break and went outside to guide one of the guys to the house I was staying in so we could work on some stuff. I was on the phone with him and as I walked out, some guys walked out of another house and started yelling, "Hey, bitch! What're you doing?" (I don't see the point of censoring or bleeping, you insert the word in your mind anyway). I ran back into the house and locked the door. I instantly felt ashamed. Sure, that was probably the right thing to do, but I was ashamed of the rush of fear that I felt. I'm also ashamed that I felt no desire to interact with them. I'm pretty sure that I've never interacted with someone who was drunk, high, or a "rough" type. Ever.

 I'm honest to goodness a little afraid of having to function in the real world outside of the Taylor bubble. What if I don't go into missions and join a company that doesn't have Biblical values? How will I handle being around people who aren't like me? I know that I can't live in a bubble after I graduate. I won't be in a Christian community forever, nor should I be. My life cannot consist of just my family and church friends. I'm failing in the Great Commission if that is true.

Clearly, the answer is God. God will help me open my heart, broaden my horizons, and learn to be comfortable  living in the world.  I pray that I will trust Him no matter what situations He puts me in.

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