I am one of those people who like to do things just to spite someone or society. One of those things is not wear makeup. This is a somewhat "recent" thing. I believe I started wearing full makeup in 8th grade and continued doing so through high school. I didn't think much of it because everyone else wore it. I had never been pressured to wear it, but I had never been told not to wear it either.

Then I got to college and more importantly, to 8 am classes. (I still do not know how I survived waking up at 5:30 every morning in high school when getting up at 7:50 am seems overwhelming to me now). I did the wake up at 7 am, put on foundation, eyeliner, moisturizer, etc. thing for a few weeks until I thought, "Wait a minute. My (former) boyfriend isn't here. I don't really need to impress anyone here. What in the world am I doing? I just need to put on new clothes, do my hair, and brush my teeth to be ready for the day." Hello my new 7:40 am alarm clock.

And boy, did that alarm clock and I start getting along much better.

I came home for spring break and decided to go see my old high school's spring musical. I asked my mom to go with me over dinner and our conversation follows:

Mom: "Oh, I'd have to go put on makeup and stuff..."
Me: "I'm not going to wear any, everyone will just be watching the show anyway."
Mom: "You should go put makeup on."

And just like that, I felt like I had been stabbed. I finished dinner and as a bit of rebellion and in true college student fashion, I took a nap. Then I went to the musical without makeup. Take that mom. (Don't worry, I do love my mom).

 Ever since then, there are few things that irritate me more than my mom saying: "You need to go put some makeup on". Why? If I'll be honest, partially it's because I'm lazy. It takes effort and time.  But it's mostly because I still feel like it's an attack on me. All sorts of things start running around in my head and feeds into my already constant internal battle with myself.

So I stopped wearing makeup daily. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate the actual makeup. It's not fair to blame a bunch of chemicals. Furthermore, I do wear makeup on special occasions. I hate doing it though, because here's what happens:

*Ashley puts on makeup*
Person: "Wow! You look really great!"
Here's the thing: I'm never told that I'm pretty unless I've got makeup on. Cue internal battle again.

I don't know where I'm going with this because I don't know what the answer is. (Yes, I do know Jesus loves me no matter what). So I'll end with this.






Oh, you were looking for some really inspiring or thought provoking statement? Sorry, that's really all I've got. Also, please don't comment and tell me that I'm pretty no matter what or anything. I don't really want to hear it and I'm not looking for that.

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